I’m fortunate to be part of a large family of Nelsons, crossing multiple states. Dad Bob Nelson is part of the bread mafia in Indiana. I’m convinced the name is part of a front for his true identity. But that’s a topic for yet another book. Mae Nelson is our neighbor and dear friend in Colorado who just celebrated her one hundred and first birthday. When we visited for her birthday she gave us the secret to a long life. Love much. Laugh much. Don’t sweat the small stuff. She says she’s been ready to go home for awhile now. I joke that the reason she hasn’t left yet is because the world needs her prayers. I asked her if she prayed for me once and she said “every day honey, every day”.

I think the Truth is that Mae has too much fun hanging out with her grand-daughter, Liz, to retire to the next chapter so soon. By the time I finish this book she’ll have celebrated her one hundred and second birthday. I’ve listened to hours of television masses with Mae. She can’t see too well anymore. By now, she can’t hear too well anymore either. But she can pray. And be quite the curmudgeon in the process. I’d like to think she’s allowed to be. She’s been here a lot longer than I have.

I wrote down “Devil’s Slide” in my notes that day, but somehow didn’t recognize or write down that it was located off the interstate at Mile marker 111. Considering my sister’s mystical relationship with numbers, I was surprised to have missed it. But we were distracted that day from our offroading adventure. And it wasn’t actually til years afterward that I realized how much Shelly could influence numerical patterns all around us. It was only later while doing the research for this book that I discovered its location. As usual, the magic is happening whether we notice it or not.

I’m not sure when I first came up with the idea to write a book based on our experience and my notes. Like most things, it has taken on a life of it’s own as I’ve written it. When I started out, I thought I was writing a children’s book with a Zelda-like main character who would sword-fight his way through the large barren landscape smoldering with oil fires and smoke. He would start out in Juniper Springs, a rotting decaying graveyard and end up in Crystal Hot Springs, a beautiful oasis in the desert. Then Chris’ mom gave me a book called The Interior Castle or Seven Mansions of the Soul by Teresa of Avila. And suddenly my curious brain started exploring something more. This mystical saint and sixteenth century Carmelite nun explained the journey of the soul as if it were made up of seven mansions. In the first mansions she described decayed snakes and stagnant water. Just like Chris and I had experienced at Juniper Springs. The seventh mansions she depicted as the heart of a perfect crystal – the soul divinely unified with God and All that is. Just like Crystal Hot Springs! To me, it’s yet another mystical wonder of the universe if you take the time to notice them and ride the wave of energy they send you on, whatever direction that might be.

I started out thinking I was going to write a children’s book and I guess I did in a way of sorts…. a children’s book for young souls in development, no matter how old they are. My friend Marina says we’re constantly getting “winks from the universe.” My dad says I smoke too much marijuana. I think they’re both right.

One of the reasons I smoke marijuana is because it calms my very active dream life. It also helps inspire my creativity by keeping me “in my head” a lot. I can be hungry one minute, then smoke some marijuana and completely lose touch with that hunger. I think that was one of the realizations on my trip to Paonia actually. The truth is I like marijuana. I know my mom and sister think it’s the devil’s weed, but I don’t share that disdain for it. My challenge with marijuana is that it keeps me up in my head instead of down in my body. And my theme for 2022 is to connect more with my body. To give it more loving support and to help it thrive with more ease and grace. Just like breathing, that lesson may take more than a year to learn. Maybe a lifetime. I sure hope I learn the lessons of the body before this one gives out.

Isn’t it ironic that as a society, we exert so much energy to save these bodies at the end. And yet as individuals, we do so little of what we can and know is required to properly care for them along the way. We all know what it takes to live better, longer. There’s no magic pill. Sorry mom, it’s not the CoQ10. There’s no magic diet. As much as I love greens. It’s just making all the little choices and doing all the little things that eventually add up to something big. Like the Buddhists say “before enlightenment chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment chop wood, carry water”.

Chris doesn’t smoke nearly as much as I do. He may enjoy it a few times a year. And he dreams a lot more. There are many worlds to save and he stays quite busy saving them. He woke up disturbed one morning after having had the responsibility of guiding a spiritual warrior through a desert of black birds. “At least they looked like black birds” he said. He described them as large raven-like shadows that rattle every time they are approached. Chris came upon a group of men in the road. The man in the center had a lighted staff. They asked Chris to guide them through the desert safely without one of the black birds exploding. Chris never thinks his dreams make any sense. I think they are the most perfect explanation imaginable for how to describe souls exploding in pain and fear and suffering. The perfect description for the journey of our own souls as we strive to overcome our own demons. Evolve through our own flaws. Our own sins. Our own pains. Chris is the warrior who strives to protect the entire party. He is also the warrior at the center of the party carrying the staff. He is also the exploding black bird. We all are. And each one is inside of us.

Thich Nath Hanh, a Buddhist monk with much more experience and insight on spiritual ways than I have, might call them Hungry Ghosts, like large shadows of vibrating darkness with no roots, looking for peace and calm in the desert that surrounds us instead of within where the connections to our ancestors and each other reside.

In one particular dream, Chris said we all met outdoors in a large field. The entire family was there. And several others who he didn’t recognize. People kept streaming into the field. Coming from all directions. Everyone was jumping up and down, pulsating as if they were about to explode. Then they each turned into different creatures and jumped high into the sky out of reach and into the unknown. Apparently I turned into a blue whale. Of course I did. I’ve always known I was a water spirit. I just learned that blue whales have the largest brain of any mammal on Earth. Fascinating. No wonder I’m in my head so much. Chris turned into a bear. Elliot? Elliot turned into a Phoenix. It reminded me of the Phoenix’ flight with the Seraphim Angels at Flaming Gorge.

I’m not sure where our souls are off to when we dream, let alone when we’re done with our chapters here on Earth. But I certainly know that Death isn’t the end of the book. Ultimately the best we can do here in Life is to learn whatever we can, help whomever we can and love whomever we can for however long we can while we’re here.

I wish I had all the answers. My brain really enjoys searching for them but I need to let my Body be in charge for awhile. And not the vampire fungus virus that says it’s time for another whiskey or another piece of cake. Instead, I want to listen to my body with a nurturing ear and respond to it with kindness and love. Maybe offer it another green smoothie or another stretching session.

My friends tell me I should be a healer or a coach. Maybe write a blog or even a book. Chris’ mom tells me I should be a therapist. So here I am, doing a little of all of it. But who am I to advise anyone on anything? I am awed beyond words looking at the simplest things around us, completely satisfied with my day if I have the opportunity to see a deer, a blue heron, an owl bathing in our pond on Earth day, a black horse or even my neighbor’s ass. Picture me in my blue fuzzy robe on a cold Fall morning trying to herd a horse and a donkey into our forest with all my might, while Chris fetched their owner. Of course, I failed miserably and they ran right past me. Thankfully God sent a semi truck to blare his horn on the highway behind me whose energy they couldn’t ignore and they ran back into the forest anyway.

My friend Tracy asked me why I want to write a book. I told her I want the opportunity for my friends and family to know me better. It wasn’t til I was half way through that I realized it was also an important part of my own healing journey. It’s served an important part in mourning the loss of my sister and the children I won’t have in this lifetime. That I still haven’t quite completely given up on, even though menopause started years ago.

It’s also my Testimony. My attempt to share a glimpse of the mystical journey I believe we’re on together and how magical it can be for every single one of us if we Choose it. And my feeble attempt at making a difference in the world. Of providing a legacy long after I’m gone. Of course, that will only work if someone continues to pay the hosting bill.

I was at home in a storm at the top of Monument Hill one morning. Chris had ventured out to plow. I was in the bedroom taking advantage of a day off work and wondering what my higher calling was. I had met a new group of like-minded folks called The Inner Wisdom Community and one of the founders had texted and asked if anyone wanted to pray together. I had never been offered that and I knew instantly I wanted to. I was listening to Elizabeth on the phone praying for me to be guided to my true calling when Chris tried to buzz in the line. I refused to answer. So rude. After the call ended, my dad came in and let me know that Chris was down the street helping people get their cars out of the ditch and needed reinforcements. So I put on the winter gear and marched down the street to help. When I arrived at the scene, the driver of the car Chris was helping came to greet me. When I asked his name, he raised his hand to shake it and said “Christian”. Of course it was. I have been surrounded by Chris, Kristi, Kristen and Christensens for some time now! Jesus has such a sense of humor. We want some big purpose, goal or end-game to our lives when all we need to do is show up for whatever presents itself. Thanks for the reminder universe! Wink, wink…

If this book inspires one person one step further in their own journey, I’ll have accomplished my goal and it will have been completely selfish of me. For if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that I can’t ignore those around me even if I wanted to. Of course, I just learned from Matt Kahn that I can grant you Sovereignty if you insist. But it would be so much more fun if we could travel the road together.

I think it was Deepak Chopra that said “A day will come when you realize that the entire universe can be found inside you and then you will be a wizard. As a wizard you don’t live in the world, the world lives in you.” If that still sounds crazy to you “Live with this first lesson, let the water of wisdom begin to seep into the secret passages inside your being and observe. The wizard is inside you and wants only one thing: to be born.”